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Clockstoppers /

Rated: PG
Starring: Jesse Bradford, Paula Garces, Garikayi Mutambirwa, Michael Biehn, Robin Thomas
Directed by: Jonathan Frakes
Produced by: Gale Anne Hurd, Julia Pistor
Written by: Rob Hedden, J. David Stem, David N. Weiss, J. David Stern

Distributor: Warner Brothers

 

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    I hate to not like a kidsí movie, or discourage one, because of flaws that only adults will notice. Yet Clockstoppers takes the cake for being the most mathematically wrong movie of the century; maybe even the millennium, thatís if they even made movies back them. They donít try to prove a scientifically correct hypothesis in the plot, they hardly explain anything. Science is an educated guess not straightforward and absolute; things are always being changed, proven wrong, and investigated. Watches cannot stop time, they simply tell it; they can move at a much faster rate, but canít make you move at a much faster rate; itís science itself. In Clockstoppers anyone can move at a much faster rate than normal by putting on a magical watch and setting it into ďhyper-timeĒ mode. No feelers, no censors, nothing; this ordinary timepiece can somehow hold information beyond us, yet was created by scientists of our time. This makes no sense, nor does the movie; so I am forced to strongly not recommend it.

     Another huge problem I had with this film, if you can even call it that, is that the director made the people in hyper-time move at a normal rate, and the in real life move at an extremely slow pace. If the people with the watches move at an incredibly fast rate, and donít effect the people at regular speed, then why isnít real life maintain their instinctive routine? Another thing; why canít the people in hyper-time hear the people in regular time? Itís not like itís a separate world or something. The movie is too confusing; if I canít comprehend, then how is a child supposed to?

     On a more positive note, I guess Clockstoppers offers a good time for kids. Even though unexplainably confusing, if they donít think about it in an intelligent perspective, like most others, they will have a good time. There are certainly better childrenís movies these days, though. Why not show them Shrek, Monsters Inc., or Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius; they are so much better than this horrid little piece of nothing; though I did get a kick out of a certain series of jokes about E!Bay, being a computer wiz.

     Thereís more! I forgot to mention the horrible soundtrack. The songs featured in it are primarily by Blink-182, and if thatís not bad enough, they're cut to a ďGĒ rating so they sound all sketchy and go along very reluctantly with the motions and movements of the mediocre actors becuase of the constant changing of verses. Everythingís a mess; face it! Nickelodeon movies are a sellout!

      Clockstoppers is nothing short of a disaster captured on film. Why would anyone in the right mind bother with probably the worst kids movie ever made. The acting is putrid, the cinematography is horrible, the lighting is off-key, nothing is in the least bit believable, and beyond all; the film isnít half as intelligent as they wanted it to be. I wouldnít see this again for five billion dollars! Kill me! This might be the worst movie of 2001!

-Danny, Bucket Reviews

 


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