“Because something is happening here,
But you don't know what it is,
Do you, Mister Jones?”
--Bob Dylan, not originally referring to Indiana in The
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, but perhaps looking into the
future and prophesizing the potential double-meaning of what
would become a popular lyric.
To be fair, the original Indiana
Jones trilogy was really never that good. Sure, the movies
represented groundbreaking exercises in visual-effects for their
respective times and still remain quite remarkable
filmic-artifacts in that they never relied on CGI to attain
striking aesthetics. Regardless, it would be difficult to claim
that any of the three films offered compelling narratives. Like
producer George Lucas’ counterpart-franchise, Star Wars,
the Indiana Jones pictures were presumably made with the
sole goal of showing the audiences of yesteryear a good time
and, for the most part, they have not aged well from an artistic
standpoint due to their lack of true substance. Yes, the movies
remain cinematic landmarks for what they were able to accomplish
on such stretched resources and limited technology, but they
frankly don’t hold a candle to many of today’s action-filled
opuses. Much of the reason why Raiders of the Lost Ark,
The Temple of Doom, and The Last Crusade remain so
beloved is only because older folks, blinded by the new
territory that the pictures forged when experiencing them for
the first time, remember them as being better than they actually
were.
I know, I know – I have angered and
scared off a whole slew of readers through the above paragraph.
As you’re reading on, they’re writing me letters packed with
passionate defenses of the trilogy such as: “Blasphemy!
Blasphemy! Dr. Indiana Jones’ adventures have always offered
viewers plenty of substance!” Regardless of one’s opinion of the
original Indiana Jones films, however, one must recognize
that the series’ new fourth installment, The Kingdom of the
Crystal Skull, offered director Steven Spielberg and his
cast-members an incredibly unique opportunity. Nineteen years
after the release of The Last Crusade, they were provided
the chance to bring the series back to life with the ability to
blend the ease of modern technology seamlessly with more
detailed and complex storytelling techniques. Other than by its
own ambition—namely, allowing Harrison Ford back into
swashbuckling protagonist Indy’s saddle at the ripe age of
sixty-six—The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull should not
have had a means of failing. There were so many routes Spielberg
and writer David Koepp could’ve taken, so many angles of the
famed character they could’ve explored, so many
historical-connections that the material could’ve lent itself
to.
As it would turn out, however,
Spielberg and Koepp apparently decided that they’d turn The
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull into a mere opportunity to
cash-in on a popular franchise. The picture represents the
essence of “filmmaking-on-autopilot.” None of the aforementioned
creativity is on display in the final product; the story moves
in every direction that one would expect it to and never strays
by a single centimeter from the formulaic path already forged by
its predecessors. For the most part, The Kingdom of the
Crystal Skull unfolds in the ways that it finds most
convenient, allowing a slew of obvious plot-points to culminate
into a whole that seems forgettable and—at its
worst—unnecessary. It clearly didn’t matter to anyone onboard
the project that Indy’s new sidekick, Mutt Williams (Shia
LaBeouf), came off as an off-putting mix of James Dean in
Rebel Without a Cause and actor LaBeouf’s character in last
year’s Transformers. Nor did it seem to faze them that
Mutt’s ultimate place in the franchise would end up being as
predictable as supermarket-bought cherry pie. And apparently no
one spoke up when they realized that the film’s third-act seemed
a lot like another (and very different) Spielberg picture
called Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Nor was there
any transparent acknowledgement of the fact that Cate
Blanchett’s tremendously weak villain represented an
adapted-version of her femme fatale in Steven
Soderbergh’s The Good German. It seems that the minds
behind The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull merely bargained
on their audiences leaving the picture unsatisfied but tolerant,
conceding something along the lines of: “I didn’t much like the
movie, but it was sure worth ten bucks to see ‘ol Indiana Jones
back in action!” The sad truth of the matter is that they’ve
delivered a product that will provoke precisely that
reaction.
Then again, perhaps I’m overreacting
about the picture’s shortcomings. Incredible potential aside,
the mediocre finished product admittedly functions as an
acceptable Summer Blockbuster. There are impressive visuals
galore—as unfortunate as it is to see the series taking to a new
CGI-addled look—and audiences should find their eyes transfixed
by nearly every one of the film’s 124-minutes-worth of frames.
Two sequences, one involving Indy narrowly escaping a nuclear
bomb test and the other a vehicle-staged sword-fight, are
particularly striking both in terms of staging and overall
texture. Additionally, there are plenty of cues for
audience-applause and gleeful-participation, obvious as they may
be. And, yes, it is good to see Indy back and in fine
form in the later years of his life, even if you’re like me and
didn’t really like him in the first place. But where are the
surprises? Where is the unexpected sense of triumph? Where is
the distinct sign that Koepp and Spielberg had a
non-finance-based reason to reintroduce Dr. Jones to audiences?
These are all unfortunately nowhere to be found within The
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. This fact may sting for
Indy-diehards, too, because it’s nearly impossible to separate
this film from the original trilogy, as Star Wars buffs
could do with the recent disappointing prequels to that series.
As one who has never belonged to Jones’ fan-base, the let-down
provoked by The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull hurts me a
little less than it will others. Still, I nevertheless feel a
bit empty inside over the fact that I can’t claim that the film
has made me an official convert to the series. Whatever airy
entertainment it may be able to offer, this Indiana Jones
adventure is best left forgotten.
And, seriously, did anyone really
think they could pull the “nineteen-years-later” thing off
without bringing Sean Connery out of retirement to reprise his
role as Indy’s father, or at least allowing a
now-thirty-seven-year-old Jonathan “Short Round” Ke Quan to lend
a helping hand to Indy and Company for a few scenes? Talk about
being hopelessly optimistic, Mr. Spielberg!
-Danny Baldwin, Bucket Reviews
Review Published on: 5.22.2008
Screened on: The eve of 5.22.2008 at Midnight at the Edwards San Marcos 18 in
San Marcos, CA.