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The Scorpion King /

Rated: PG-13

Starring: The Rock, Michael Clarke Duncan, Kelly Hu, Ralf Moeller, Bernard Hill 

Directed by: Chuck Russell 

Produced by: James Jacks, Kevin Misher, Stephen Sommers, Sean Daniel 

Written by: Stephen Sommers, David Hayter, William Osborne, Jonathan Hales 

Distributor: Universal Pictures


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Movie Image

Movie Image

     If you were to look up ďguilty pleasureĒ in the dictionary, The Scorpion King would be its definition. It is full of jokes that you and I know are stupid, pointless dialogue and above all, a lame execution; but I liked it, strangely. Perhaps its out of order direction and production contributed to an increase in my entertainment factor because of the ridiculed material. The Rock is a terrible actor, and should stick to wrestling, but watching him was incredibly fun, in a harmless way. Even an element is supposed to be dead serious, you canít help chuckling while enjoying its every move. What Iím trying to say in laymanís terms is that this is a ďstoner movieĒ, something that should be enjoyed, and not overanalyzed because of its helpless simplicity.

     The story is a stupid excuse for screenwriters to showcase sex and violence in a more intelligent manor. When first seeing the previews, the material that I saw wasnít at all enticing, but now Iím convinced that lame material with errors in it is more likable than serious material with errors in it because it is able to give off the sweet smell of unintended humor. In this story, set 5,000 years ago in a densely populated desert, a warrior must defeat a seemingly invincible ruler who isnít exactly the best people person. The ruler wants to send nomadic people of the desert elsewhere and create harsh laws and punishments that are much too strict for his people, but more importantly make life easier for himself than everyone else in the population. His new opponent (The Rock) almost is killed in his first attempt at trying to kill him, so naturally he organizes a posse of enemy soldiers to fight against the greedy man. The end result is for you to find out if choose to embark on this entertaining journey. Will the ruler keep his strength or, well, die.

     One thing that Iím tried of seeing in film today are influent, supposed to be funny Asian characters. In National Lampoons Van Wilder, Taj, Vanís assistant, is an Indonesian exchange student who is new to sex. The cultural and racism issues to this arenít what bug me; itís that the material that these characters bring to the table isnít funny whatsoever. Weíve seen it time and time again and it never is any more comical than the last. In The Scorpion King, the rulerís opponent, who is of Indian descent, has a man who is granted the ability to journey with him in exchange for help in a desperate situation. I dislike his character because of two reasons. One: his unfamiliarity to the culture in which he lives in didnít create one laugh, or even a smile. Two: What is the likelihood of an Asian man living in Africa four thousand years before Christ?

     The Rock gave this film what Vin Diesel did for xXx; entertainment. His one-liners are stupid, but in a certain sense, extremely worthwhile. I donít like to watch wrestlers trying to act, and its not even a great move for casting directors, but he is so amusing to watch and brings such a fresh new world to the action genre, no one can help but like his character. I will not keep from mentioning that his role has redeeming features, as most other critics would to keep there names straight, but it did. He got my adrenaline rushing, my game face on, and heck, I will even admit to smiling at him a couple of times.

     The Scorpion King delivers some entertaining action that makes the movie worth a rental. Turn off your brain and let the otherwise dull-minded plot get to you, because its fun to watch if you let it be. The film on a whole is bad, but if you base it solely on the level of excitement that it permits; the whole thing turns out to be not to shabby. The flick doesnít work, and I wonít pretend that it does, but I gained a certain level of undefined gratitude by watching it.

-Danny, Bucket Reviews


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