Feminists
rarely get anything right, but on Bride Wars they’ve come
pretty close. While I don’t buy the notion that the film, as
feminists claim, is an insult to women because it depicts
females as conniving, superficial morons, I do think it is
condemnable for its depiction of (lacking) Western values. No,
the movie isn’t “why the terrorists hate us”—not even close—but
it stars two American pop-culture icons who many around the
world like and admire behaving like childish idiots. The fact
that they are Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson, stars normally
associated with wholesome mainstream entertainments, makes
Bride Wars even more pathetic.
I didn’t go
into Bride Wars expecting it to be a work of art or even
a good movie. It would be tough to hold the bar that high for a
January romantic-comedy released by a major studio. But I didn’t
think the movie would be offensive. Such is what we get from
Greg DePaul, Casey Wilson, and June Diane Raphael’s script,
which turns b-f-fs Emma (Hathaway) and Liv (Hudson) against each
other when an improbable clerical error schedules their dream
weddings on the same day at the same time in different rooms of
the same venue. The premise would actually be kind of cute if it
had the same tact seen in the more innocent trailers. But the
writers never once create genuinely funny situations out of Emma
and Liv’s competitive wedding planning, RSVP begging, and
bridesmaid recruiting. The movie merely consists of one trivial
bitch-fight after another, only to then of course end under the
obligatory “happily ever after” ribbon. Misleading image of
Americans’ superficiality aside, that the movie has the nerve to
force-feed moviegoers such schlock is offensive in and of
itself.
The
usually-charming Hathaway and Hudson have appeared in bad movies
before—actors don’t usually have complete control over what they
appear in—but this is the first real failure for once
indie-director Gary Winick. Building his career on clever
micro-budget hits like Tadpole and moving on to superior
commercial entertainments like 13 Going on 30 and
Charlotte’s Web, Winick’s choice to tackle Bride Wars
comes off as a premature sell-out to Hollywood. There’s no
possible way he read the atrocious script for the film and
thought it would be a worthwhile creative endeavor. The only
credit thing I’ll give Winick credit for is the movie’s
semi-tolerable 90-minute running-length.
I’m tempted
to conclude by calling Bride Wars’ hyperbolic attempts at
dark comedy failed because they end up darker than do comedic,
but I would be overestimating the film in assuming it was going
for dark comedy in the first place. Judging it as the hokey
screwball effort it was likely intended to be, Bride Wars
is just plain vile.
-Danny Baldwin,
Bucket Reviews
Review Published
on: 1.12.2009
Screened on:
1.9.2009 at the Krikorian Metroplex 15 at Vista Village in
Vista, CA.
Bride Wars is rated PG-13 and runs 90
minutes.
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