“Because something
is happening here,
But you don't know what it is,
Do you, Mister Jones?”
--Bob Dylan, not
originally referring to Indiana in The Kingdom of the Crystal
Skull, but perhaps looking into the future and prophesizing
the potential double-meaning of what would become a popular lyric.
To be fair, the
original Indiana Jones trilogy was really never that good.
Sure, the movies represented groundbreaking exercises in
visual-effects for their respective times and still remain quite
remarkable filmic-artifacts in that they never relied on CGI to
attain striking aesthetics. Regardless, it would be difficult to
claim that any of the three films offered compelling narratives.
Like producer George Lucas’ counterpart-franchise, Star Wars,
the Indiana Jones pictures were presumably made with the
sole goal of showing the audiences of yesteryear a good time and,
for the most part, they have not aged well from an artistic
standpoint due to their lack of true substance. Yes, the movies
remain cinematic landmarks for what they were able to accomplish
on such stretched resources and limited technology, but they
frankly don’t hold a candle to many of today’s action-filled
opuses. Much of the reason why Raiders of the Lost Ark,
The Temple of Doom, and The Last Crusade remain so
beloved is only because older folks, blinded by the new territory
that the pictures forged when experiencing them for the first
time, remember them as being better than they actually were.
I know, I know –
I have angered and scared off a whole slew of readers through the
above paragraph. As you’re reading on, they’re writing me letters
packed with passionate defenses of the trilogy such as:
“Blasphemy! Blasphemy! Dr. Indiana Jones’ adventures have always
offered viewers plenty of substance!” Regardless of one’s opinion
of the original Indiana Jones films, however, one must
recognize that the series’ new fourth installment, The Kingdom
of the Crystal Skull, offered director Steven Spielberg and
his cast-members an incredibly unique opportunity. Nineteen years
after the release of The Last Crusade, they were provided
the chance to bring the series back to life with the ability to
blend the ease of modern technology seamlessly with more detailed
and complex storytelling techniques. Other than by its own
ambition—namely, allowing Harrison Ford back into swashbuckling
protagonist Indy’s saddle at the ripe age of sixty-six—The
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull should not have had a means of
failing. There were so many routes Spielberg and writer David
Koepp could’ve taken, so many angles of the famed character they
could’ve explored, so many historical-connections that the
material could’ve lent itself to.
As it would turn
out, however, Spielberg and Koepp apparently decided that they’d
turn The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull into a mere
opportunity to cash-in on a popular franchise. The picture
represents the essence of “filmmaking-on-autopilot.” None of the
aforementioned creativity is on display in the final product; the
story moves in every direction that one would expect it to and
never strays by a single centimeter from the formulaic path
already forged by its predecessors. For the most part, The
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull unfolds in the ways that it finds
most convenient, allowing a slew of obvious plot-points to
culminate into a whole that seems forgettable and—at its
worst—unnecessary. It clearly didn’t matter to anyone onboard the
project that Indy’s new sidekick, Mutt Williams (Shia LaBeouf),
came off as an off-putting mix of James Dean in Rebel Without a
Cause and actor LaBeouf’s character in last year’s
Transformers. Nor did it seem to faze them that Mutt’s
ultimate place in the franchise would end up being as predictable
as supermarket-bought cherry pie. And apparently no one spoke up
when they realized that the film’s third-act seemed a lot like
another (and very different) Spielberg picture called
Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Nor was there any
transparent acknowledgement of the fact that Cate Blanchett’s
tremendously weak villain represented an adapted-version of her
femme fatale in Steven Soderbergh’s The Good German. It
seems that the minds behind The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
merely bargained on their audiences leaving the picture
unsatisfied but tolerant, conceding something along the lines of:
“I didn’t much like the movie, but it was sure worth ten bucks to
see ‘ol Indiana Jones back in action!” The sad truth of the matter
is that they’ve delivered a product that will provoke precisely
that reaction.
Then again,
perhaps I’m overreacting about the picture’s shortcomings.
Incredible potential aside, the mediocre finished product
admittedly functions as an acceptable Summer Blockbuster. There
are impressive visuals galore—as unfortunate as it is to see the
series taking to a new CGI-addled look—and audiences should find
their eyes transfixed by nearly every one of the film’s
124-minutes-worth of frames. Two sequences, one involving Indy
narrowly escaping a nuclear bomb test and the other a
vehicle-staged sword-fight, are particularly striking both in
terms of staging and overall texture. Additionally, there are
plenty of cues for audience-applause and gleeful-participation,
obvious as they may be. And, yes, it is good to see Indy
back and in fine form in the later years of his life, even if
you’re like me and didn’t really like him in the first place. But
where are the surprises? Where is the unexpected sense of triumph?
Where is the distinct sign that Koepp and Spielberg had a
non-finance-based reason to reintroduce Dr. Jones to audiences?
These are all unfortunately nowhere to be found within The
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. This fact may sting for
Indy-diehards, too, because it’s nearly impossible to separate
this film from the original trilogy, as Star Wars buffs
could do with the recent disappointing prequels to that series. As
one who has never belonged to Jones’ fan-base, the let-down
provoked by The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull hurts me a
little less than it will others. Still, I nevertheless feel a bit
empty inside over the fact that I can’t claim that the film has
made me an official convert to the series. Whatever airy
entertainment it may be able to offer, this Indiana Jones
adventure is best left forgotten.
And, seriously,
did anyone really think they could pull the “nineteen-years-later”
thing off without bringing Sean Connery out of retirement to
reprise his role as Indy’s father, or at least allowing a
now-thirty-seven-year-old Jonathan “Short Round” Ke Quan to lend a
helping hand to Indy and Company for a few scenes? Talk about
being hopelessly optimistic, Mr. Spielberg!
-Danny Baldwin, Bucket Reviews
Review Published on: 5.22.2008
Screened on: The eve of 5.22.2008 at
Midnight at the Edwards San Marcos 18 in San Marcos, CA.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the
Crystal Skull is rated PG-13 and runs 124 minutes.
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