The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen’s
advertising campaigns state that it is one of the few movies
that will come out this summer that is original and innovative,
but most importantly, not a cookie-cutter, comic-book sequel.
All of these facts are true, but definitely not in a good way.
So what LXG is a one of a kind film, based on an
energetic and fun graphic novel? It’s also boring, clumsy, and
takes itself far too seriously to be called campy (or even very
fun, for that matter).
I was, admittedly, hooked into the
story of LXG, for the first half-hour or so. For a
while, it comes across as an entertaining, and sometimes epic,
comic-book style adaptation. But, before long, the material
begins to wear thin, and the film turns into a boring endurance
test. Maybe if LXG had been trimmed down by thirty
minutes, to a bearable length of an hour and fifteen minutes, it
would’ve been a thoroughly enjoyable popcorn-movie. But,
audiences won’t be pleased with the grim 105 minute-long flick
they’ll find themselves viewing at the local multiplex.
LXG would work best as a twenty-minute-long short-film—it
would be much more engrossing and easier to take that way.
Sean Connery is exhilarating to watch,
as always, however. Whenever his face lightens the dismal mood
of the film, it’s like a fresh breath of air for the audience.
But, when the camera pans back into all of the stupid messes of
action, featuring laughable villains, we go back to feeling like
we’re being strangled by the video that’s being projected onto
the screen. Connery usually has the ability to make bad movies
worthwhile, but isn’t able to here. Even with him, and his
entertaining co-“Extraordinary Gentlemen,” LXG
still, well, sucks the big one.
The special effects range from being
wondrously beautiful and atmospheric to unbelievably ugly. The
work on the character Rodney Skinnier (Tony Curran) is
stupendous. Skinnier is an invisible man, who has to smear white
face-paint onto his front, and wear normal clothes, for anyone
to be able to recognize (or see him). Of all the Extraordinary
Gentlemen, he is definitely the most interesting, and my
personal favorite. However, the work on the giant ship that the
cast of Extraordinary Gentlemen travel on, called the Nautilus,
is devastatingly mediocre. The Nautilus is big and towering, and
quite jolly-looking, but terribly done. If you squint hard
enough, it looks like it’s a giant piece of bird-plop. The ship
appears as though it was drawn by a five-year-old kid, with a
white crayon, over an hour’s time. It’s easy for a movie to
appear too campy—LXG represents such,
and quite well, at that.
It’s very hard to say that
LXG is one of the worst movies of the year, because its
intentions are so good. On the other hand, it’s harder to deny
how crappy it is. When it comes to cable, it’ll work as some
quality background noise, but other than that, don’t waste your
time on it. The only thing worse than a bad movie, is a bad
movie that had the potential to be a good one. If I’m able to,
I’d love to remove LXG from my memory, until the
time to make my “Worst of the Year” list comes. To allow myself
to begin forgetting, I’m going to end my review of it, right