Christmastime is one of the most pleasant of the
year, in which the general population of the
commercial-world has elevated spirits and an abundant
amount of glee within. I have a feeling that the folks
over at DreamWorks Pictures realized this when they
considered when to release Mike Mitchell’s abominable
Surviving Christmas, and thought that they’d be
better off not damaging everyone’s general happiness
during the holiday season. As a result, I found myself
attending a screening of a Christmas movie the day
before Halloween. However, I don’t think that being in
the mood for such material would’ve helped me enjoy this
latest strand of the Ben-Affleck-virus to infect
multiplexes.
In Surviving Christmas,
Affleck plays Drew Latham, a top marketing executive who
has made plans to spend Christmas with his girlfriend
(Jennifer Morrison) in Fiji, until she dumps him, as a
result of his peculiarly strong detachment from his
family. Alone and wallowing, Drew takes a taxi out to
pay a visit to his childhood home. There, he, on a whim,
offers the current family of residence, headed by Tom
Valco (James Gandolfini), $250,000 dollars if they’ll
show him his first real Christmas in ages, up until
midnight on December twenty-sixth. They must sing songs,
hang ornaments, drink eggnog, and all the other things
that normal celebrators do. What Drew doesn’t know is
that he’ll run into his fair share of problems along the
way, most of which involve his now ex-girlfriend, Tom’s
daughter (Christina Appelgate), and Tom’s wife
(Catherine O’Hara).
The movie is funny a lot of
the time, but never when it intends to be. Affleck, in
particular, is so awful in his role that it is
impossible not to laugh at him. Whenever he plays Drew’s
insane-half up, I had to chuckle at Affleck, and not
because he is talented, in the least. His co-star, the
almost universally liked “Sopranos” front-man,
Gandolfini, isn’t nearly as terrible, but doesn’t manage
to capture a bit of warmth in his role. Surviving
Christmas wants to be jolly and fuzzy in its
execution; all it ends up being is repulsive. Had it
gone down the satirical road, just as last year’s Bad
Santa did, it may have worked. Then again, Ben
Affleck is quite the obstacle for any film to overcome,
let alone a disposable little Christmas picture.
In a couple of years,
Surviving Christmas may play non-stop on cable
channels, in the season that it was originally intended
to be seen in. However, even when free, I have a hard
time believing that it will not wipe the smiles off of
the faces of those tuning into it. Sure, I found some
parts of it enjoyable, albeit for the wrong reasons.
But, did I ever think Surviving Christmas to be
anything more than a bad movie? Maybe for a few seconds,
but no longer than that. All that I took from it was
further puzzlement towards Affleck’s popularity. Even
the teenage girls who find him attractive won’t be able
to fathom the poor quality of this film. One thing’s for
sure, though: it has no chance of surviving at the
box-office until Thanksgiving.
-Danny, Bucket Reviews (11.10.2004)